I'm back!

12 performances of 5 different shows in 11 days with 100 teenagers - what kind of idiots came up with that preposterous schedule?  Why, the Pinedas, of course (at left making sure those Zangler Follies wigs for Crazy For You fit just right)!  We’re not exactly known for sticking to the status quo.  Some might even say we’re prone to unrealistic expectation (I’d say more like wishful thinking).  All I know is that I’m worn out and relieved to be back to my “real” job where I can relax at my desk and browse Amazon.com and eBay for rare musical theatre ephemera.  Could I be any gayer?  That was rhetorical.

You may have noticed the sound of crickets on my blog over the last two weeks, but I’ve been a little busy.  Our fourth Summer Conservatory program ended Sunday night with our final performance of Crazy For You by our high school Center Stage program.  To say I was stressed out would be a massive understatement.  Scenes were being blocked and re-blocked the day before our final dress rehearsal, one student didn’t know one of his second act solos (in fact, he didn’t even know he sang it in the show) three days before opening, there were daily choreography changes, props and set pieces didn’t appear until half-hour before the opening matinee and…well, you get the picture. 

Not that this summer is really any different than any other summer (or any Pineda production for that matter), except that I’m now treading terrifyingly close to “old fart” territory.  Fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants theatre should really only be attempted by twenty-somethings who still find this brand of guerrilla theatre thrilling.  Me?  I'll take my Equity break schedule and cot (see line (C)(8) in link), thank you very much.

Herewith is my list of this summer’s camp highlights (and lowlights):

• Fine Dining - This summer we were blessed with a handful of wonderful parents who supplemented our regular summer diet of donuts, coffee and leftover concessions with real food.  Mama Love's lemon chicken is da bomb!  Delish.
• Tropical Conditions - What the hell is up with the weather?  Some days it felt like we were working in a sweat shop in Calcutta.  For those of you who don’t know, we work and rehearse in an un-air-conditioned theatre and the temperatures this summer regularly pushed past 100 degrees.  Good times.  Val did purchase an industrial-sized “air cooling” unit that managed to cool the theatre down to a chilly 90 degrees. 
• General Laziness - some of our high school students literally didn’t know their lines or music just days before opening night.  Seriously?  We had scripts and scores available to these students (I won’t call them actors because that would be an insult to the profession) a month before rehearsals started and then in some cases, an additional four weeks of rehearsals.  One excuse I heard - “I learn on my feet.”  Bullshit.  That’s just a creative way of saying, “I’m too fucking lazy to learn the lines on my own.” 
• Slip of the Tongue - Juan, tired from a late night at the theatre accidentally ordered a "sausage egg and shit on a biscuit" for breakfast one morning at the McDonald's drive-thru and then couldn't figure out why Val, Trish and I were crying with laughter.
• Spotlight Program - I love our middle school kids this year.  They were always polite, prepared and friendly.  I even got recognized at their closing night “thank-you’s” and I didn’t even work on their show.  Well, actually I painted one set piece, but that was hardly worth a bouquet of flowers. 
• George Gershwin - “I Got Rhythm”, “Someone to Watch Over Me”, “Embraceable You”, “Nice Work if You Can Get It”, “I Can’t Be Bothered Now” - ‘nuff said?
• Sickness - Cast members were dropping like flies.  It seemed like everyone was sick sometime during the five weeks.  In one extreme case, the middle school student playing Mayzie in Seussical found herself voiceless before the matinee so our summer college intern sung and spoke the dialogue on mic from the pit while the poor girl lip-synched and walked through the blocking on stage. 
• Hook-ups - Stick 30 hormone-deranged teenagers in a confined space for five hours a day and you're bound for some hot gossip, right?  Wrong.  This summer was uncharacteristically tame (aside from a few rumored make-out sessions) with nary the whiff of a showmance.  Not to mention not a single boy (or girl) ventured out of the closet either.  Sad.  I'll have to check the accuracy of my spies, though, because someone's got to be spreading all those germs (see "Sickness" above). 

Of course, there were also the usual screaming matches between various Pinedas and staff over the stupidest production details, binge-eating and late night trips through the McDonald's drive-thru (they seriously need to consider offering a 50 piece chicken nugget box and bucket o' fries), emergency runs to Target for forgotten props and set-dressing and sleepless nights spent at the CDC turning over the sets for each new production.  But it's just as well, since a Pineda production without loads of drama off-stage would likely signal the end of days.