Monday, January 31, 2011

My crazy dream and "Sweet Music"

Calling all amateur psychologists out there, tell me what's going on in my warped mind that would encourage the trippy dream I had last night. 

I was a character on "Glee" except we were in College, not High School.  The only character I can clearly remember was Mr. Schuester (aka Matthew Morrison) who was still a teacher, but for some reason also lived in the dorms with us.  He and some other dorm mates were making fun of me because I didn't want to join the ski team.  I can't remember the exact details anymore, but somehow I also had a "coming out" moment and Mr. Schuester was making fun of me for being gay.  It ended with me having dinner with Ellen DeGeneres and her wife, Portia, eating grilled meats and other assorted organs (I can clearly remember having a piece of grilled heart - gross, I know, but that's what I remember). 

I'm not exactly sure how it went from Mr. Scheuster's harassment to dinner with Ellen.  It's all foggy and I was trying to remember it as I was waking up but the more I concentrated on details, the more the images just floated out of my head.  I don't ski and I definitely have never eaten heart - well, not that I know of.  I do watch "Glee" and "Ellen," so I sort of get that connection, but the whole coming out thing doesn't really make sense to me considering I came out years ago and any hang-ups I had with that have long since been ironed out.  I also found it odd we were grilling meat since I know Ellen's vegan. 

Oh well, the only reason I mention it is because I usually forget my dreams by the time I've thrown my feet over the edge of the bed, so it's a unique treat when I can remember so many of the f*cked up details.

Speaking of f*cked up, this past Saturday, we (Juan, Val, Trish and I) put on one of our (in)famous thrown-together-at-the-last-minute concerts for the First United Methodist Church in Scotch Plains where Juan music directs.  We literally strung together a 90 minute concert in one rehearsal the night before the performance.  With three additional random guest performers and a crazy mix of pop songs, showtunes and Christian songs, we put together a program as eclectic as the passengers on a rush hour 7 train to Flushing.  Juan had actually warned us about the concert the week before, so I had at least already picked out two traditional songs since my go-to material can be somewhat risque for a Church-going crowd. Although same-sex love ballads and campy drag numbers bring the house down at more secular functions and venues, I sensed a more modest tone would be appropriate for the Methodists.  Know your audience, says I!

Since the church billed the evening as a concert and dessert reception (thus the concert's title, "Sweet Music"), I went with the food theme and chose the perennial favorite, "Sara Lee."  I did have a slight panic attack at the grocery store when I couldn't find a single Sara Lee item in the frozen food section to use as a prop for my song.  It seems Marie Callender and Stouffer's had pushed poor Sara into a lowly bottom corner of the freezer case. 

Glancing at our anemic set list late Friday night, Juan and I decided to throw together a duet version of "This is the Moment" (barf) from Jekyll & Hyde to fill out the evening and amp up the cheese factor.  Not to be outdone, Trish and Val countered with the equally cheesy, but in my opinion, better written and composed anthem "I Will Never Leave You" from Sideshow.  It's so sad that the loudest cheese always brings the biggest applause (sigh). 

Per usual, we didn't decide who would accompany which song until the night before either.  So we were kind of winging it at the concert.  Given that Dane, who was scheduled to accompany a couple of the numbers, didn't realize we had a Friday night rehearsal and that our regular drummer, Dan, showed up two hours before the concert and was winging it sans music, the concert ended up going pretty damn smoothly.  In the end, it was all just an excuse to donate money and scarf empty calories in the name of God, so I think everyone had a good time.  When there's a chocolate fountain involved, no one cares what you're singing anyway.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Torture, Chocolate and DB Bonds - the Perfect Road Trip

One drawback to working a full time job where your vacation days are spent working a second job (the summer conservatory) is that you never get a real vacation. Sure, I get an occasional long weekend now and then, but I haven’t had a full week off in over three years. So I donned my rose colored glasses and pretended it was a warm August day and dragged Trish to DC for some R&R. Happy MLK day to me!

With snow from the last couple of storms still lingering in dirty piles along the street, Trish and I packed up the car and headed south. On route, we decided to stop for a day of retail therapy at Arundel Mills outlet mall. We actually spent almost five hours there power shopping. I made out with some great buys (another Ben Sherman fedora - I'm obsessed!), but the mall was definitely on the shady side of ghetto fabulous. I’m sure the mall’s design and décor were the height of chic in 1991, but now – not so much.

One reason we chose DC is that our favorite hotel is there, the Omni Shoreham. It’s walking distance from the trendy Adams Morgan neighborhood and a block from the Metro. Trish had racked up a free night’s stay (the Shoreham’s become our annual July 4th destination for the past couple of years), so we only had to spring for one night – love those freebies. Since Trish is enrolled in the select member program, we were welcomed with a tray of macaroons, chocolate and a bottle of wine in our room, all gratis (see yummy pics to the left). Beat that, Holiday Inn Express!

After reading some yelp reviews, I picked Cashion’s Eat Place for a nice sit down dinner on our first night. The food was good, but nothing we couldn’t easily find in NYC. It was more interesting for people watching. First off, the restaurant and the neighborhood is so darn white (and I don't mean the building facades). The only ethnics were busy bussing tables. There we were, two very brown individuals sandwiched between two gentile southern gals on our right and two young gay boys on our left, apparently on a first date. The girls weren’t very interesting, but the gays were fascinating. One was a pretentious young lawyer with long greased-back blond hair a la Matthew McConaughey circa 2008. His cute, twinky date probably just started growing arm pit hair. The poor thing just kept smiling and nodding while Whitey McConoughy just babbled on about his job and Washington politics – exactly the kind of conversation that will guarantee a second date. And by second date, I mean a text saying, “Thanks for dinner. I’ll call you sometime.” I was actually surprised by the high gay quotient in the restaurant. Who knew DC was such a homo hotbed? The table of daddy bears lasciviously licking their paws as I walked past them on the way back from the bathroom was a tad disconcerting while at the same time strangely flattering.  Don't judge me, people. At my age you've got to take it where you can.

For day two of our DC escapade, Trish and I decided to forego one of the Smithsonian museums for the lesser known National Museum of Crime and Punishment. If serial killers and medieval torture turn you on, chuck your Viagra and hightail it to this place. Intense is an understatement. For some reason I thought it was going to be a cheesy, Coney Island-esque exhibit in the vein of a Ripley's Believe It or Not museum.  But this place takes its murder and torture very seriously.  From Ted Bundy's VW bug - creepy considering it was the scene of so many murders - to the actual studio where "America's Most Wanted" is taped, this place is a sadomasochist's wet dream. It's definitely worth a visit if you plan to be in DC.  But be warned, wear comfortable shoes and bring your reading glasses.  The museum's plan doesn't include much seating and each exhibit is accompanied by exhaustive history and background information.  We were there for three hours and by hour two I started skimming, my brain suffering from text overload.

We needed a break after all that crime and punishment, so we headed back to the hotel for a nap before heading out to Arlington, VA, where we had tickets to Sunset Boulevard at the Signature.  I know Sunset Boulevard sucks, but we went to enjoy one of Trish's many Broadway boyfriend's, DB Bonds.  I'll post a review separately.  Let's just say the production itself was top notch, but the show would have been better served were DB allowed to perform shirtless for more of it.  Oh, and that Florence Lacey sure can sing.  She can even belt a pure "e" vowel, unlike Glenn Close ("...with one look I'll be mihhhhhhhh!").  Hey, I love Glenn, but a high chest belt is definitely not listed under "special skills" on her resume.  Does she even have a resume?  I mean, really.  Can you imagine asking Glenn for a resume at an audition? 

We were going to head out to another museum Monday morning for the holiday, but we were just too beat from all the weekend's festivities.  Instead we decided to sleep in and order our regular hot chocolate wake-up call.  Yes, another wonderful perc at the Omni - every morning you can have a pitcher of homemade chocolaty goodness delivered to your door complete with homemade marshmallows and whipped cream on the side - the breakfast of champions!  With a couple of hours to spare before our late check-out, we got cleaned up and headed to the hotel's gardens to take some new headshots.  Considering I've used the same 8x10 for about a decade, I'd say an update is long overdue. I'll post our fave shots soon, after Trish has photoshopped out my raccoon eyes and smoothed out my crows feet. 

In the end, I always judge a good trip by the food, so this weekend rates pretty high on the food-o-meter: Cashion's for some high end seafood, the enormous breakfast buffet at our hotel (we're talking omelet station, waffles, breakfast meats and a huge continental spread), a huge bowl of Pho and Vietnamese BBQ at Pho DC in Chinatown and some tasty Mexican at Guapo's after the show at the Signature.  And of course, a trip south is never complete without a stop at the Maryland House rest stop on I-95 for crab cakes at Phillips!  I know, crabs at a rest area - sounds like a health department warning - but it's now become a Pineda road trip tradition. 

And now back to reality (and slush).

Friday, January 14, 2011

Third time’s the charm…

Next to Normal, Booth Theatre
January 11, 2010
7pm performance

Okay, so sue me.  The first time I saw N2N (that’s text-speak for Next to Normal), I gave it a mixed-to-good review.  I liked the score, but some of the staging and lyrics bothered me.  Fast forward one year and a cast change later and voila! - me likey.  What a difference in-tune singing makes to show enjoyment.  Fast forward to last night (almost another year later) and I might have to concede that it’s one of the best new productions of the past few seasons.  Granted, those seasons also gave us Shrek, Spider-man, 9 to 5 and the middling to hideously bad revivals of Guys and Dolls, Bye Bye Birdie and West Side Story.

One of Trish's old college friend was in town for an audition, so I recommended he see N2N knowing it’s scheduled to close at the end of the week.  The tiny booth is the perfect house for such a small show and I'd imagine it loses some of the intensity and intimacy in a huge 2,000-seat touring house.  Finding a pair of discount tickets mid-orchestra, I decided to join Josh and get some good, cathartic, crying time in for the week.  Though my opinion of the show’s quality has changed over the years, I’ve always ended up bawling through that last act.  

Marin Mazzie was on fuego Tuesday night!  She sounded fantastic.  And the high note at the end of “So Anyway I’m Leaving” (which she botched the first time I saw her) was gorgeous and effortless.  She’s really grown into the role and I find her portrayal much more satisfying than the balls-to-the-wall performance of the original Diana, Alice Ripley.  What the hell happened there?  Ripley’s definitely got some permanent vocal damage happening in that throat.  Sad, since no one can touch her Violet (Sideshow recording).   I just find Mazzie’s Diana more nuanced and complex.  Ripley was just crazy all the time. 

Jason Danieley, Mazzie’s real-life husband was in the zone as well.  I’m not a fan of his voice, he’s got a weird vibrato that never seems to open up naturally, but the closing Gabe scene was pretty incredible.  I was all verklempt

Kyle Dean Massey is totally hot and completely adequate as Gabe.  He just doesn’t have the same innocent, boyish quality of original Gabe, Aaron Tveit (can’t wait to see him in Catch Me if you Can).  I mean, Gabe shouldn’t remind you of a gay porn star.  And talk about gratuitous nudity.  Is there any real point to his opening shirtless scene other than to satiate horny theatre queens?  Not that I’m complaining, but come on.

I also saw N2N during its puberty off-Broadway at Second Stage after it had just changed its title from Feeling Electric (thank God they cut that title song - it was pretty lame).  So technically, I’ve seen the show 3.5 times.  In it’s off-Broadway incarnation, the show was uneven but obviously showing much potential.  If anything, N2N is the poster child for thoughtful, slow development of new works.  Hear that Spider-manPushing opening night again?  Really?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Playing catch-up...

I’m so behind with my reviews so trying to play catch-up here, folks.

La Traviata, Met Opera
Friday, January 7
8pm performance

Time Stands Still, Cort Theatre
Saturday, January 8
2pm performance

Trish and I checked out the new production of La Traviata at the Met.  I, of course, was quite excited to see how it would compare to my highly acclaimed staging for Pineda Lyric (yes, I’m joking). 

There was some crazy shit happening on the Met stage!  Instead of a traditional approach, director Willy Decker’s stark production made ample use of symbolism, sometimes forsaking textual accuracy for the sake of emotional clarity.  For a better explanation, you can read James Jordan's review (he's also the editor of Parterre), which is far more detailed and erudite than anything I could compose. 

Decker’s modern-dress production is much more visceral and emotional than what could be accomplished through a traditional staging.  Without the social constraints of period etiquette and costumes, Violetta and Alfredo are free to be much more physical and sexual.  The textual inaccuracies didn’t really bother me.  I particularaly liked how Decker integrated Violetta into the beginning of Act 2, turning “De' miei bollenti spiriti” into a fun game of hide-and-seek.  I can’t wait to steal that little bit of staging when we revive it for Pineda Lyric.

Poplavskaya - try saying that five times fast - is a committed and thrilling actress.  She has a surprisingly dark tone (gotta' love those Russians) but her top is thin and some of the coloratura got away from her the night we watched. She and the orchestra were also at odds with tempi.  Poplavskaya would at times visibly beat time with her head to push the orchestra along and many rubato passages seemed to catch conductor and orchestra off guard (possible merchandising alert - Poplavskaya bobble-head dolls?).  Can’t be sure if it was singer or conductor at fault, but major sync issues going on.  

Polanzani’s tenor is "like buttah" - gorgeous phrasing and legato.  Nice to hear a tenor at the Met that doesn’t sound like he’s taking a shit above a high G.  He and Poplavskaya had some great chemistry, too. 

I’d like to give a shout out to Michelle Trovato, the Violetta in Pineda Lyric’s production.  I'd much rather listen to her than Poplavskaya any day.

Old Zeffirelli production...


New Willy Decker production...
________________________________


Cancer victim and now terrorist bomb survivor?  Laura Linney can't catch a break.  Someone book her a guest appearance on Glee, stat!  I love Laura Linney, but could someone cast her as something other than sarcastic, intense, brainy and/or oppressed?  Give the girl a break.  I mean, she’s expectedly brilliant in Time Stands Still, but between this and The Big C, she'll need some couch time herself with a good therapist.   

I didn’t expect anything less than brilliance from the remainder of the cast, but I was particularly impressed by Christina Ricci as the ditzy, young trophy wife.  Wednesday Addams is all grown-up and now a Brooklyn hipster.  Playing against her brooding, Indie-film persona, her Mandy is unexpectedly funny and endearing. 

I'm glad I caught this over the weekend since it's closing later this month.  I'm sure it will be clogging up regional theatre stages in the coming seasons given the small cast and the unit set.  My guess - look for a movie adaptation within the next five years.  This is ripe for expansion and would be serious Oscar bait given the political subject matter.  No doubt it will be recast with Julia Roberts (Linney role), Clive Owen (D'Arcy James role), Harrison Ford (Bogosian role) and Taylor Swift (Ricci role).  Sad. 

Friday, January 7, 2011

Pork-gasm

In the new Pineda tradition of foregoing home-cooked holidays in favor of James Beard award-winning meals, Trish, Juan, Val and I spent a delightful evening with Tom Colicchio & Sons on New Year’s Eve.  Why dedicate the hours sweating into pots and pans when you can pay someone else to do the sweating for you?  Trish and I met Juan and Val in the trendy meatpacking district where piles of gray-brown slush were still clogging intersections and sewer grates, the stubborn remnants of our Christmas “Snowmaggedon.” The restaurant is surprisingly off the beaten path (way over on 10th Ave), but the trade off is a huge open warehouse space that would likely cost a fortune mid-island. 

As for the food?  Two words - pork belly.  Dear God, how can I have lived 40 years without tasting this fatty cut of porcine goodness.  I think I had a pork-gasm.  Twice.  I couldn’t name every item we had, but the highlights for me: the pork belly (of course) butter-poached oysters w/ caviar, foie gras donuts, Juan’s skirt steak with bone marrow ravioli - oh, and did I mention the pork belly?  Desserts were equally decadent and between the four of us, we were able to sample just about every one.  Check out their menu to get your mouth watering and tummy rumbling.  I’m saving my pennies now so I can go back for the Tasting Menu.

So how do you top a meal like that?  By watching the ball drop with Ryan Seacrest.  Not.  We were so stuffed from dinner that our distended bellies couldn’t handle the antipasto, chips & dip and pigs-in-a-blanket (my personal favorite, more pork!) I had purchased in a panic that morning, thinking we might actually get hungry later that evening. 

By around 11pm, Juan and Val were fast asleep, their food comas getting the best of them.  Trish and I stayed up watching the severely toned-down Kathy Griffin with Anderson Cooper on CNN.  She seems so un-happy without the use of the “F” word.  At midnight, we pathetically donned our silly hats and 2011 glasses.  With a few sad toots on our bargain store horns, we welcomed in the New Year violently waking Juan from a deep sleep.  We didn’t even bother to pop the champagne. 

Oh well, after that meal anything is bound to be a letdown.  My upcoming fantasy holiday/restaurant couplings - Bastille Day at Bouley, Cinco de Mayo at Centrico and MLK Day at Amy Ruth’s!

Give me a New Year's kiss!

Trish shows off her snazzy New Year's hat. 








Juan sleeps through the ball drop.













Hope your New Year is filled with showtunes and pork!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I heart Donny & Marie...

Sunday, January 2
Marriott Marquis, 2pm performance

I bow down to Donny & Marie: A Broadway Christmas, the most fantabulous show of the past year.  I am not even worthy of licking the flop sweat off Marie’s sequined platform shoes.  Yes, technically it’s the first show I’ve seen in 2011, but I’m grouping it with the 2010 holiday anyway. 

Trish, Val, Juan and I had the privilege of seeing their final show of the season from wonderful side orchestra seats.  Thank you, TDF!  How is it humanly possible that Donny and Marie are both in their 50s?  Sure, Donny’s got a bit of that middle-aged gut and Marie’s almost Asian with all the work she’s had done to her face, but they both sounded and looked fantastic otherwise.  These two are the hardest working Mormons on the Broadway.

From their grand entrance through a haze of fog via hydraulic lifts, to the video screens flanking the stage and endless staircase-ography, the audience was enthralled in rapturous joy for two intermission-less hours.  It was a non-stop barrage of shrieking, screaming, yelling, clapping and standing ovations (yes, at least 3 or 4 mid-show) from their adoring audience - me included. 

It’s difficult to describe the show.  It’s equal parts rock concert, Vegas club act, variety show and music video wrapped in a thick layer of delicious cheese.  Marie’s got the legs of an 18 year old hooker and Donny’s tenor is still effortless and swoon-worthy.  There were endless bits about Donny’s win on DWTS and about his difficulty keeping up with the young dancers onstage.  And the wise-cracking-younger-sister-always-getting-the-last-word dynamic that worked so well on their TV show is still knocking ‘em dead 40 years later.  These two have more charisma and stage presence than 30 Brittney Spears combined.  They know exactly how to manipulate an audience into a screaming frenzy (literally).

Though billed as a Christmas show, the duo built the evening around their many pop hits.  Each performed an extended set.  Marie, in addition to serenading us with her pop and country hits, displayed her crazy belt in an extended Broadway medley that included - no joke - "Some People," "All That Jazz," "Cabaret," "All I Ask of You" and "Don’t Rain on My Parade."  She then serenaded us with Andrew Lloyd Weber’s "Pie Jesu" with her self-described and newly found “operatic” voice.  She preceded the selection with her wish to someday sing at … wait for it … The Metropolitan Opera!!!!  This ridiculous announcement only made me love her more.  Marie, I will be first in line to buy tickets for your debut as Mimi at the Met.  You'll be fabulous.

Donny’s half was less splashy, but just as entertaining.  He crooned his way through several pop hits including an extended version of "Soldier of Love."  He then walked us through his forays into musical theatre and his love for Stevie Wonder’s music.  Who knew Donny possessed the soul of a black man? 

They ended the show with some of their best known duets and lots of playful banter with the audience.  What impressed me most was their interaction with the audience.  These two were not afraid to meet their public - running out into the aisles, hugging, fist-bumping and calling volunteers up on the stage.  Women and men were practically swooning in the aisles worshiping these idols of the 70s. 

If there is a God, we will be blessed with this show every Christmas! 

PS - Check back soon for my bootleg video clips.  I'm still trying to figure out how to download the videos from my new camera.  I know it's illegal, but the entire audience was doing it and Marie and Donny were obligingly playing and posing to the many illicit cameras on view.  And yes, I would jump off a bridge if everyone else was doing it.  So there.

Angels Part 2: Perestroika

Sunday, January 2
Signature Theatre
7:30pm performance

How do you memorize a seven-hour play (see also Gatz)?  More to the point, how do you memorize three separate roles in a seven-hour play?  Eric Bryant must have one hell of a memory.  Trish and I saw him in Part 1 subbing for Christian Borle, but he actually also covers Louis and Joe Pitt!  Sunday night for Part 2 Borle was back, but I have to give props to Bryant who gave a respectful if cautious performance in Part 1 - understandable considering he must be going schizo with all those different characters jostling around in his brain.

Part 2 seemed to fly by compared to Part 1.  Likely an unavoidable circumstance given so much expository junk needs to get thrown at as in order to fuel the machinations of Part 2.  Or maybe it’s just the cast’s comfort at having the regular Prior back.  Whatever it is, the three hours whizzed by.  I don’t have much more to say except Borle’s Prior is much more detailed and nuanced than Bryant.  But then again, Borle’s been playing the role for months while Bryant performed the role for the first time.  ‘Twould be quite pathetic if Borle hadn’t surpassed Bryant’s performance (and I have no idea why I just started writing in Ye Olde English).

Not to sound pompous, but this play really is a modern classic.  In a hundred years, if our progeny want to know what life was like in the early 90’s, just hand ‘em a copy of this play. 

My only gripe? - Billy Porter kept stealing glances at the audience during his scenes.  It was really quite annoying.  Like he was looking for our reactions and making sure we understood how funny he was.  Maybe he’s doing it unconsciously, but it came off like he wasn’t completely invested in his scene partner and playing to the audience.  Oh well, regardless of that minor quibble, if you’re able to score a ticket, grab it.  And you get the added bonus of Bill Heck going the full monty. 
"I'd rather be nine people's favorite thing thana hundred people's ninth favorite thing."

Jeff Bowen, Lyrics "[Title of Show]"